Pause Before You React: How I Chose Logic Over Emotion and Found Peace
Sometimes our first reaction to a situation isn’t rooted in truth—it’s rooted in fear.
That knee-jerk reaction, that defensiveness, the assumption that someone is out to get us, or the desire to immediately fight back—it’s a default human response.
I recently experienced this firsthand and wanted to share the story with you.
I own a property that I was trying to get homeowner’s insurance renewed for. I’d been in touch with my insurance agent for a couple of months, explaining how the market situation was tough and that I needed the most affordable coverage possible to meet my mortgage requirements.
I kept her updated, telling her I might sell the house since I couldn’t afford to keep it.
So, I listed the house with a realtor.
After a couple of months with no offers and a slow market, the property didn’t sell.
Meanwhile, it was time to renew the insurance. I told the agent that the property was no longer vacant—I had moved back in and was now using it as my primary residence.
She said she’d look into it and send me a quote. I felt good. But the next day, I received an email saying they couldn’t cover my home because they believed the house was still vacant, referencing old pictures of empty rooms.
She offered an expensive private quote instead and even told me to shut off the water if the home was unoccupied.
I was shocked. I felt disrespected, misjudged, and—worse—I felt like she thought I was lying. I had explained everything clearly, hadn’t I?
My immediate reaction was to write a long, emotional email, telling her how I felt attacked and misunderstood. I was ready to defend myself, quote regulations, argue my case, and go to war over it. But something stopped me.
I asked myself: What’s the actual problem I’m trying to solve?
- Is it to prove I’m right?
- To teach her a lesson?
- Or is it to renew my insurance?
That pause changed everything.
Instead of sending an emotional email, I slept on it.
The next day, calmer and clearer, I rewrote the email.
I acknowledged her possible perspective—how, based on regulations and the pictures she saw, she might have assumed the home was still vacant.
I explained the timeline again: the tenants had moved out, I had cleaned and renovated the house, then listed it. When it didn’t sell, I moved back in. I provided proof—utility bills, my driver’s license, homestead exemption papers—all showing I was now living there.
I ended the email by kindly asking her to reconsider the quote based on the updated facts.
The next day, her response was completely different—she went from seeming unhelpful and distant to being supportive and understanding.
She reviewed options from other companies, confirmed that my current provider offered the lowest rate, and assured me she would help with the renewal.
She even reminded me that the cost might fluctuate, but promised to stay involved and assist throughout the process. Just like that, the tension melted away.
What could’ve been an ugly, stressful confrontation turned into a respectful, productive conversation.
The lesson?
Our default reaction is often to defend, blame, or assume the worst.
But if we take a moment to step back, reflect, and lead with clarity instead of emotion, we open doors instead of slamming them shut.
This story reminds me of the first article I wrote about my dad and the way we jump to negative conclusions. (You can read it here if you haven’t already.)
It all comes back to this:
- Pause before you respond.
- Ask yourself what you really want.
- Choose logic over emotions/ego.
You’ll not only solve problems faster—you’ll also live with a lot less stress and a lot more peace.
Muzammil Khan